Vienna Art School Awards Scholarship to Trump in Effort to Prevent Another Hitler

The Vienna Academy of Fine Arts has announced today that it has awarded Donald Trump a full scholarship to study art at the prestigious institution.

This represents a change in attitude regarding admissions for the art school that famously rejected a young Adolf Hitler twice in the early 20th century when he was endeavoring to become a painter.

“You know, we probably could’ve avoided a whole bunch of shit if someone just gave young Adolf some encouraging feedback on his artwork,” an Academy spokesperson stated. “We still feel bad over the whole incident, and we don’t wanna screw things up for everyone again.”

The spokesperson said that they had awarded the scholarship to Trump based primarily on his plans for a surrealist sculpture dubbed “The Wall.”

The monumental structure intended to be the length of the Mexican border was “conceived on such a fanciful scale that not even Salvador Dali could have dreamed of it. It’s lack of practical and economic viability means that The Wall is only possible in his imagination,” he said. “Trump truly has the mind of an artist.”

The spokesperson went on to note that Trump has a number of other impressive facets.

Foremost is his “flair for creativity, especially for immigration numbers and criminal statistics,” and his claim that Obama founded ISIS was an “absurdist work of fiction on par with Lewis Carroll.”

Trump’s best known work, entitled “Hair,” is a post-structuralist sculpture that he is often seen wearing in public. To the uneducated layman, it resembles a combination of a troll doll and a tuft of dry weed-like grass.

But the spokesperson for the Academy explained that this sculpture was “a masterpiece that functions as a critique of our futile desire for order in a world of disorder, noting it both appealed to our reptilian instincts and repulsed our conformist hair-brushing nature.”

Many though were concerned that there is a limit to the amount of encouraging feedback one can receive.

“You can’t just keep saying his stuff is good if it isn’t,” one was quoted as saying. “Sure, we might not get another Hitler, but we could end up with another Adam Sandler. And, Jesus, that’s almost as bad.”

 

 

 

 

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