Scientists have discovered a new strain of fool who are now resistant to foolproofing and are now threatening all life on Earth.
The research identifies as fools those humans who are essentially immune to facts, reason or any form of objectively verifiable knowledge, the report said.
The scientists warn this new strain of fool represents the biggest threat that humanity has ever faced.
“These fools look just like normal humans and appear to possess the necessary human functions for critical analysis and forethought,” said the lead researcher, John Collins. “But for whatever reason, they are unable to use them properly.”
Most alarmingly, the report makes the observation that things previously thought to be foolproof and no longer impervious to the incompetence of fools.
“We have just proven that nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently capable fool. I mean, we thought there would be no possible way anyone would be an anti-vaxxer or be a climate change denier, but fuck that’s exactly what happened!” Collins remarked.
“Fools are like a bad sci-fi movie: they’ve evolved over time. Except at least in a bad sci-fi movie, the bad guys get smarter – these fools are actually getting more foolish, ” Collins said. “In fact, this new breed of fool is so stupid they could spell the end of humankind. That’s actually quite a feat because I wasn’t sure these people could spell anything at all.”
This new breed of fool is so widespread that it is found in all corners of the globe, from office managers to parking inspectors to presidential candidates.
“This shows no sign of stopping,” Collins said. “But the worst part is, no matter how hard you try, you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.”
When queried if there was anything we can do to stop it, Collins shook his head. “Nope, we’re fucked.”