Sculptures Scrapped for “Strippers by the Sea” in Bid to Increase Attendances

With Sydney’s famous Sculptures by the Sea suffering from flagging attendances and the majority of residents finding it “a bit boring,” organisers have scrapped it in favour of a new ‘Strippers by the Sea.’

The Premier of New South Wales, Mike Baird, had initially suggested the new option along with “Scriptures by the Sea” and “Hillsong by the Hills” as alternatives, however, the strippers were only suggestion that people were showing any interest in.

The new exhibit will few feature many exotic dancers from clubs around Sydney, who have been recruited to do pole dancing routines along the famous coastal walk.

Organisers plan to have both male and female strippers, although most of the male strippers were found already mostly naked and tanning themselves on Bondi Beach already so they didn’t have far to go.

“This is a great move,” said one organiser. “The walk really is in pole position to watch pole dancing. It’s two views in one.”

“We haven’t had much work since the lock-outs in Kings Cross ruined most of our business,” said a stripper partaking in the exotic ‘Ram Me Damn Hard’ on Tamarama Beach exhibit. “But the best part is that I feel this will really legitimise our work now it’s out in the open instead of a seedy nightclub where your shoes stick to the floor.”

No one seems to miss the sculptures, “The only things sculptured here now are abs,” said one woman 28 from Castle Hill doing the walk as part of a hen’s party. “Although I did notice plastic surgeons had made some mounds out of silicone.”

 

 

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