Assange Loses Internet Connection, Interrupts ‘Words with Friends’ Game with Donald Trump

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange reacted angrily this week after it was revealed that Ecuador shut down his internet connection in the London Embassy. This cause the ‘Words With Friends’ game Assange had started with Donald Trump to time out and under the game rules, the win was awarded to the US presidential candidate.

“I can’t believe I lost a game requiring only the most basic English spelling and comprehension skills to Donald Trump,” he said. “And I was just about to lay down ‘DEMAGOGUE’ for a whopping 117 points too!”

Assange went on to note that the best Trump could do was “NASTY” but Donald had struggled to find any sort of connection to any other word.

The lack of internet connection also meant that Assange was unable to watch the Youtube mash-up of Nigella Lawson’s sexiest cooking moments and was struggling to check how his Farmville farm is getting on.

In an effort to reduce his internet withdrawals Assange also started maniacally pinning pictures to a board in order to crudely re-create a version of online craft giant and instigator of broken DIY art dreams Pinterest.

Embassy staff attended to Assange in person and were able to calm him with printouts of Grumpy Cat photos, Google results containing his own name, and a hand-picked selection of Snapchats from his favourite Russian hackers.

Assange has asserted if people wish to contact him it is best to utilise a carrier owl service, noting they are probably still faster than using an Australian Internet connection anyway.

 

2 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*