America has headed to the polls to elect a new president although controversy ensued as it was revealed a malfunction with Donald Trump was causing people to vote for Hillary Clinton.
Instead of the usual issue with voting machines, early reports suggest many people across America are voting for Hillary on the basis that Trump himself was defective.
When informed of this Donald responded, “Ridiculous! You bet I’m gonna sue whoever caused this!” before following with a largely incoherent sexist and racist rant, confirming suspicions Trump was actually faulty.
Trump himself had tried to vote earlier in the day, although not without difficulty.
“The whole voting thing scrambled my brain and Melania had to help me out,” Trump stated, surprising everyone with the revelation he actually had a brain. “She gave me a quick run-down on the candidates who were running and their policies but it was all too much so I just copied her voting form.”
“So I ending up voting for Hillary,” Trump announced to the contingent of press following him.
“The choice was obvious,” Melania added. “Trump’s the less experienced, less intelligent and more intemperate candidate.”
Trump was angry once an astute journalist pointed out his mistake, “I can’t believe I voted for Hillary! This type of malfunction cannot be tolerated!”