With pollsters having written Donald Trump off, many were of the belief that the eight-year curse of not having a white man as president of the United States was once again going to continue.
The election of Trump now means the hoodoo has finally been broken, although many were still left questioning whether Trump could be classified as a white man or whether he was, in fact, orange.
“It’s been a long eight years,” Trump said with a sigh of relief. “Too long!”
“But 2016 is the year for breaking curses and to do that I figured we had to go back to basics,” Trump explained. “People were saying that my policies founded on the fundamental tenets of white privilege, racism, and misogyny weren’t really going to garner that many votes at this election, but we proved them wrong! [maniacal laughter]”
Trump also had some encouraging words for to all the white men out there who were ever deterred from running for president, “I say to them, ‘Don’t give up, you can do it!'”
“Never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams,” he added, plagiarising a line from Hillary that he subsequently blamed on Melania’s speechwriter.
Trump finished with some more inspirational words for white men, “We need to start breaking down all the barriers that hold any white man back from achieving their dreams and start building barriers that stop illegal immigrants from entering our country.”