Wonder White Introduces New and Improved Walter White: “It’s Wonderfully Addictive”

After years of research and product development, Wonder White has finally introduced a new and improved range of bread. Called “Walter White,” the new bread formula has a distinctive blue tinge and is already proving to be a hit with all the family.

“We knew from many hours of personal research that the new and improved Walter White bread is wonderfully addictive!” said a spokesperson for the company only known as Heisenberg.  “It contains no artificial preservatives and is high in fibre and pure methamphetamine.  We figured we were on to something when we found out it was the most stolen item at Coles and Woolies.”

“It’s amazing,” said Casey, 20, after buying a loaf at an inflated price from a dealer on ebay. “I just take a loaf of Walter White with me whenever I’m heading out to a rave or partying in a club. I usually pass around a few slices with my mates and we’ll have a great time!”

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“It’s a little different from the Wonder White when I was a kid,” added Jonno, 19, who said he was coming down from eating a few slices over the weekend. “I was already addicted to the stuff, but this blue edition is just the ice on the cake!”

Competing breadmakers have already caught on to its popularity.  Some have even been trying to dye their bread blue in an effort to pass it off as Walter White.

“They better watch out. I’m not in the bread business,” Heisenberg warned. “I’m in the empire business.”

 

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