Outrage as Man Who Punched Roo Doesn’t Win Person of the Year

The entire nation of Australia has reacted with outrage today as Donald Trump was awarded Time’s Person of the Year instead of the man who punched a kangaroo.

Despite being a relatively late entry, many felt the man who punched a roo was significantly more qualified to be person of the year than Donald Trump whose only claim to fame is his ability to insult mexicans, muslims and the intelligence of the American people.

“A ridiculous decision! ,” said Robert McKinley, a pub expert in Australian studies. “The man who punched a roo is a true Aussie roo battler, has a real fighting spirit and is prepared to run away at the first sign of not backing down. He’s a man of action, not like that yank Trump who is all talk.”

“He should replace the emu on our coat of arms,” added Robert. “Did you know a man who punched a roo can’t move backwards?”

Meanwhile, after a relatively lacklustre year by persons, Time magazine is considering broadening the award to all carbon-based lifeforms next year. “Unfortunately we didn’t do it in 2016,” said a spokesperson for Time. “Harambe would’ve been a shooting… I mean, shoo-in”

 

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